Winter Wonderland

Lately I've been wanting to pray for people like crazy.

During the day, I'll walk past someone in the hallway and God will be like "You should totally pray for them." So I'll write it on my hand so I don't forget. Except, I don't actually write their name, just their initials. (Hey, I don't want people thinking I'm some creepy stalker.)

So, by the end of the day I'll have this list of random letters on my hand.
It's quite humorous, actually.

It snowed yesterday.

Here, I'll say that again for you. It freaking snowed yesterday.

I'm sorry, but its October.
Well, anyway, since it was snowing I figured I should probably make some cookies. So I did.

Gingersnaps. They're freaking awesome.

So naturally that put me in a rather festive mood, which I was mad about later because Christmas is still two months away.
*shakes fist in the air* Darn you, anomalous weather patterns!

The Official Countdown has begun: My sister comes home in 48 days.

so.freaking.excited.

:D

stay sweet.

The Road I Travel

If you know a few things about me, you may know that I attend a Christian school.

Whatever, I know.

Well, anyway, I just got back from a retreat that I took with my high school of a mere 80 students. It was fine, in case you wanted to know, but it got me thinking. The speaker who was there was hammering the "apathy speech" at us. If you're a Christian student, such as myself, you most likely know exactly what I'm talking about. For me, hearing it for the up-teenth time made me feel as though the speech itself was apathetic. Well, afterwards we broke into groups to discuss it. Since I'm on student counsel I was supposed to lead one. I didn't have time to gather my thoughts. I was trying to think of some realistic way to present the subject of apathy without feeling apathetic myself.

God, how am I supposed to do this? I know my relationship with you is more than what most of these kids have, but how can I explain that relationship without seeming like a know-it-all? 


I didn't want to seem like a fake.

Then a thought occurred to me.

I won't seem like a fake if they can see me living out my relationship...


But wait, am I?


So I got in there, and was as real as I could be. Real about being real, even when we don't want to be.

But I still wasn't satisfied with my unanswered question.

OK, I've been going to a Christian school since fourth grade.

I made it through middle school without too much damage.

I see myself at a better place with God than most of my schoolmates.

Why am I not satisfied?


Because I know there is more. More that I can do, more that I can give. Sometimes I struggle with my beliefs because I feel that everyone's around me are so different. But maybe I could start using that to my advantage. Perhaps what I have to give and the insight that I can share is just what somebody else needs.

God, I want to be what you created me to be.

 Sometimes I wonder why I go to my school. Then I'm reminded of the passage in Esther, and how she was called to stand up for her people at exactly the perfect time.

And here is a group of people in the same sphere as I, who are desperately lost, but they think they're on the right track. Which could be more dangerous than knowing your on the wrong track. They're believing a lie, and it's eating away at them.

I can do something about that. Maybe I'm here for this.

God, I want to be remembered for what you do through me, as that girl who took advantage of a moment; who saw opportunities.

Use me. 

Don't Stop Dreaming

Alright, I've been doing some mad crazy college hunting. MAD. CRAZY. And right now my dreams are bursting at the seams (don't expect me to whip out any fireflies from a jar, though).
Let me start by saying that I was raised in a household built on dreams. All my life I was told that I could do anything or be anything I wanted when I grew up. And I never once doubted that. But right now, in this stage of my life, I'm realizing one of the enemies most tried and true tactics. So many kids my age fall into a belief that says 'I'm not good enough for college' or  'the chances of me becoming an athlete are a million to one.'

I hate that.   I HATE THAT!!!

I had to get that out.

Seriously?! Who cares if its a million to one. If you don't try at all its a million to zero. AND you've accomplished nothing.
Sometimes God takes us down paths that we're meant to fail at. But He always provides a turn in the road that leads to something better than we ever could have imagined. But we needed the experience first.
I can't let people tell me that my dreams are unrealistic, or that I'll never succeed in life. God has placed those dreams in my heart for a reason. They're meant to prosper me. To give me hope and future. To glorify Him.

So maybe I will just go to college in Fairbanks, or Manchester, or Melbourne.

Show me your plans, O Lord. Guide me.

The Greek Alphabet

Hmm... Well...here I am....
I just felt like blogging. I can't think of much thats worth while to say.

I just wrote a letter to a friend of mine in South Korea. She has a facebook, sure, but isn't so much more fun to write letters? I wish we did it more often. And then when you actually receive mail you feel all special inside. Yes, I think I'll continue on this sudden letter writing spree.

The other day my Mom and I went antiquing (Yes, it is a word, and I know this because there is no squiggly red line under it) and I got this amazing desk. We picked it up today. I must say I'm feeling pretty spiffy. And yes, my laptop is sitting on the desk right now :)

I just ate a maple mint. Yes, a maple mint. As you may already know from reading previous posts of mine, I went to Canada recently. While I was there I bought maple mints. Yes, they are amazing, and yes I did look like an obsessive tourist when I bought them :)

Whoa. Check this out. Ω µ ∂ ƒ ∆ œ ¥ ø π. If you were sitting here right now, I'd probably be saying something like: "Dude, I just discovered like half the Greek alphabet on my keyboard.

Sweet Dreams

His wounds have paid my ransom

Tonight I am feeling completely undone and overwhelmed... by these few words written hundreds of years ago:

How deep the Father's love for us. How vast beyond all measure. That He would give His only son to make a wretch His treasure. How great the pain of searing loss. The Father turns His face away as wounds which mar the chosen one bring many sons to glory.

Behold the Man upon a cross, my sin upon His shoulders. Ashamed, I hear my mocking voice call out among the scoffers. It was my sin that held Him there until it was accomplished. His dying breath has brought me life, I know that it is finished.

I will not boast in anything- no gifts, no power, no wisdom. But I will boast in Jesus Christ, His death and resurrection. Why should I gain from His reward? I can not give an answer. But this I know with all my heart: His wounds have paid my ransom. 

Truth

Starbucks is amazing, yes, this is true. However, one of my favorite things about Starbucks is probably how they give away free itunes downloads. I mean, usually the songs are amazing. And, you wouldn't have discovered them if not for Starbucks. Anyway, I recently discovered this pretty cool song (via Starbucks, of course) that has really kept me thinking. God usually speaks to me through the arts, so it wasn't that surprising that this song kept nagging at me. (Btw, I never really knew the correct spelling of that word...is there a k in front?) The end of the chorus is as follows: (These are the main lyrics that stood out to me)

"Your darkness is shining,
   My darkness is shining,
   Have faith in myself,
   Truth."

Well, here was my interpretation of it: God doesn't just shine through me when I'm talking about the Bible, or when I'm doing something "good". He shines through everything; He penetrates the darkness in my heart. Therefore I should be confident in who He created me to be because whats inside of me is Truth.
Truth is penetrating my darkness.

Ambitions...

I've decided, yes, yes I have. I'm moving to Canada. Alright, alright, I know. Canada, really? Thats what I was convinced of too. However, after my recent visit, my mindset has been completely transformed. It's freaking gorgeous up there. Seriously, it is. And it's like stepping back in time, which, for a blubbering romantic like myself, is pretty awesome. Maybe I'll find a school up there to go to. I wonder what the probabilities of something like that are...Well, I suppose ambitions are good to have..they keep you moving forward in life.

An Unearthed Introvert

One of my favorite things in life are summer storms. There was one today, and when it was over I went outside in my bare feet and traipsed around, holding a bouquet of heliotropes. I guess I was dreaming up something heavenly, and forgot about the obnoxious "after drizzle" of the storm. But that is something I do regularly... I will go off someplace by myself and be perfectly content with my own thoughts. I suppose it could be called my "Willowmere". I've been thinking about this "other side" of me lately. I used to consider myself a full blown extrovert, and introversion was something to be avoided. But now I'm thinking I fall somewhere in the middle. It may be because of the shifting seasons of my life (usually I'm pondering on my future), in which I case, I suppose such thinking is necessary. But other times, I'm simply dreaming up wild fantasies...hmm..aren't I a little old for that? Well, I guess that's just me.


"Isn't it splendid to think of all the things there are to find out about? It just makes me feel glad to be alive--it's such an interesting world. It wouldn't be half so interesting if we knew all about everything, would it? There'd be no scope for imagination then, would there?" --Anne Shirley